Need for Diversity

Tonight I am inviting a friend over for dinner and I needed to go to the grocery store to pick up some things. All my roommates had their own plans for the day and so I got in our van and headed to Food 4 Less on my own. This particular grocery store is the most affordable in our area and the best for a low income budget. As I was driving there it occurred to me that this was the first time since being here that I have gone grocery shopping on my own. I was kind of excited, because I could take my time and shop at my leisure. As I was pushing my cart and going up and down the aisles I noticed that aside from me and one of the employees there was maybe three or four other white people in the store. The majority of the customers were Hispanic. This was not a surprise to me; I have been in this store many times, but never on my own. As I walked through the store and saw foods with labels in Spanish and heard conversations in Spanish my color became very apparent to me. I have to admit that the longer I found myself in the store the more uncomfortable I became. I felt like I stood out and I found myself holding tight to my space around me as I stood in line to checkout. Well, Food 4 Less did not have some of the items that I needed so, I stopped at Pavilions on my way home. This grocery store is one that we don’t shop in that often because it is a little more pricy due to them carrying only certain brands. As I was walking in the parking lot heading to the door I started to feel my uneasiness start to go away. When I started to walk through the store I felt comfortable again and know it had to do with the fact that I was part of the majority again and not standing out.

This feeling of standing out is not new to me since I have been in Hollywood. Most mornings on the bus ride to work I am the only white person on the bus and at work I am also in the minority. Before I moved to LA, I have had a few experiences where in terms of color I have been in the minority, but since I have been here it seems like a daily experience. Back at home there is diversity, but not like it is here in LA. Here in LA I have noticed, at least in my area the association between social economical status and color is a lot more apparent. As I sit on the bus or when I walk in a store where my color stands out I find myself wondering what people are think of me. I wonder if they are thinking, why is she here? I find myself wanting to hide so I don’t stand out. It has definitely been a humbling experience and has made me aware of how important diversity is and how our towns, cities, states, and country need more of it. I obviously have not been exposed to diversity like I thought I was and I hope one day I can be blind to skin color and just see people, without labels.